Life appears to change daily – things change. People change. But most importantly, I change. Our entire being changes from one instant to the next. Half the time I can’t seem to decide whether or not its for the best, but as my dearest friend Stefanie notes, “it is what it is”. Dear God, how much I hate that saying! But as she usually is, she’s right. I can’t help but be angry; angry with myself for what I am now, angrier because im not who I wish I were right now, but I also seem to be angry because I am losing sight of what may be real. There’s a sense of longing for things that may very well be out of reach, but I deny it to myself in the hopes that my intuition may be wrong for a change. I’m a woman, who am i fooling? The one thing I can soley depend upon – without any hesitation, is my intuition. That part of me will always carry me to where it is I must go. I don’t know what it is i’m rambling on about now – possibly how things keep changing and I don’t know how to deal with it. Or i’m going on about my unhappiness with myself. This unhappiness has a tendency of disguising itself as anger towards those around me. But in all honesty, can I really be angry with those that have fooled me or lead me to believe one truth over the next? Of course not. I’m only to be blamed as I know better.
October 16th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Welcome to the Citizen’s Journal. I read your thoughts and I can only offer my quick retort. We don’t change. We are in a process called life that is designed to teach us lessons by trial and error. What feels good we embrace. What hurts us teaches us not to do that again and unleashes our anger. If we are angry, then what we have experienced has taught us a valuable lesson, but that is not “New” and it is not change. We live until we don’t. The process can’t be changed and I hope you spend more time embracing good experiences than wasting time in anger. Wow, someone in here has a chance of experiencing beautiful things. I wrote because you are beautiful, wrestling with things we cannot change. We can enjoy them or not. That’s a choice like good and evil.
November 27th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Hello Baco,
Firstly, thank you for the welcome and posting my very first comment.
I agree with some of your points, but I also disagree with the fact that you feel people do not change. I at times, may think the same way, but at the end of each day views
November 27th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
can change and who we are can shift. My life has been very positive. Of course there have been negative occurrences from time to time, but that can go without saying. Life happens, you’re right, but being able to say that we as a five year old are the same as when we’re in our 20s would be false.
I love positivity, but writing happens to be a form of therapy at times, so I tend to write when I need to vent. I should focus on writing when I am happy. So for you alone, I will soon post something positive. I would then like to hear your thoughts as well.
November 28th, 2009 at 3:45 am
First “Rosie”, I am honored by the fact that you respect my thoughts on your thoughts. Most people crawl into the fetal position when addressing a rebuttal from Baco. I encourage you to write whenever you desire. As for change, a person has something known as “Core Values.” If one would cheat their Mother, they always would if no one is looking. If we are enablers, we always would because it feels good to us. We must learn through trial and error. We are equal. We are good enough. We are loved by someone. Finding them is hard, but we must never change our core values to be loved.
February 1st, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Dear Aborosic,
Thanks for the article! I found it to be really interesting!
Keep up the good work!
-Nina